Don’t Get Lost in Fairyland

Every day, new accounts of loss, suffering, heroism and anguish from our collective story of Covid-19, touch me so deeply. Sharings from those who are intrinsically part of my life, family, friends & clients, and also of those I hear in the limited news I digest.

We are all faced with the truly inconceivable. The Covid-19 story follows close on the heels of the truly inconceivable escalations of climate change – that is a story many of us have been so aware of for many, many years, but it becomes ever more intense.

However ….

None of these stories change what is most deeply true. Nor do they ever change the invitations I offer in Secret Garden.

Fear and popular trances

Many thought leaders (even big-hearted ones) are jumping on bandwagons right now that are still assuming some kind of predictable (if ever-changed) ‘reality’.

One popular fallacy is – that a new earth is trying to be born afresh, for example. This is pure projection, sometimes mixed with inflated fantasy or at least an ideology. Natural intelligence evolves human consciousness. And it is infinite in expression, it doesn’t share an agenda to be good or right! And it is slow.

Another is that we are in the midst of evil conspiracy…is this the truth of lived experience in this moment?

Another is that so many people in lockdown now have all the time in the world to achieve great things. For whom? For what?  Consumerism in the self-development world mirrors that in the business world.

Fairy stories abound. Fear – of missing the boat, of not being good enough, of impending disaster, of having nothing to show for this enforced curtailment of freedom, fear that some things are so dreadful they must have inherent meaning, fear of a life without future hope – is the perfect ‘hook’ for the celebrity guru. Their sense of personal urgency is very appealing to the mind. Don’t get lost in fairyland.

The unsustainability of materialising wanting energy

To act or theorise or inspire from any sense of lack, as most leaders do these days (if there were no wanting or lack there would only be simple truth) simply keeps turns the creaking world around and sustains unsustainability, and suffering. It is unsustainable and unkind to excite people and ramp up expectations of personal goodies. Unsustainability is rife in how people think they should self-care, how they think, how they relate, how they chase experiences, just as much as how many material goods they consume.

Projected reality is never the truth your mind says it is! The invitation, when wanting something from the world out there arises, is always to go in and do the work to heal into wholeness & truth. Meaning is made up, and always limited. This might be to embrace limiting beliefs and stories so fully that they dissolve in the Love beyond you. There are always great gifts to be found. Surprising treasure. This can free you up for more discerning choices, or appropriate, flowing, harmonious action, where appropriate.

Women and men so often think that what they think and say is so much more important than the realities within them, and so much more important than what they do, or don’t do. This is not true! Except, of course, in a post-truth world! Only a fool knows a lot.

Don’t get lost in this fairy land that so appeals to the mind. Grounded resilience and heart care is called for, not spiritual bypassing and denial.

Avoiding the pain of incompleteness

Most of what this is, is distraction. But it isn’t harmless, or honest. Human beings try to distract themselves from the stillness which lies underneath the emptiness and meaningless by creating a purpose, a world vision, believing religious tenets, buying things, addictions, compulsions, and trances of hope or despair. This is an attempt to avoid the circumstantial pain and the pain of separation from wholeness that is part of being human for most. Facing into that pain, and your aloneness and mortality is a better way to spend energy – the horror, the despair, about these doesn’t last forever.

Life is unconditional

Life does not invite us to become more, more good, more worthy, more efficient. Life does not mind whether best use is made of the body and gifts we are granted. It is ok to relax. Of course when you relax, you will feel life more. That is how the heart can open, the way to the YES to every thing.

Life simply IS. Life embraces all the horrors and joys, just the same, because it is freedom, boundlessness, unconditional.

Awakeness in essence can express as wild, yet is borne of utter stillness, emptiness and silence.

What if existence has no plan? What if this is a moment by moment aloneness and we don’t get brownie points from others, from a God out there, for what the heart knows when a man or woman get still enough to listen – that simply taking care (in whichever way comes naturally) is reward in itself and does not need future in it.

Many humans need their conditioned propensity for hope and fantasy to keep on keeping on. They start out believing the little lies they are told. Father Christmas, the tooth fairy… Then they take on the big lies of the ‘free world’, duty, celebrity culture (in all fields), politics, the white wedding or their own special lies, that will solve the ache of separation.

Men and women tell me in anguish at the beginning of a meeting, that they need to achieve something, believe in something, in the meaning of current stories, or in romance, for example. Yet, perhaps, natural order, empty fullness, formless in form, the energetic, intelligent universe is wondrous enough? Isn’t being fully the man you are, the woman you are, the miracle gift? During our meeting, they soon, mostly, find out that it is. They dare to deeply listen to Life. True change is much slower than the mind wants it to be. It is organic, embodied, natural.

The challenge and the Opportunity

My challenge  to you is – if you want to change the world, or see the world really change, politically, or economically, or socially, first wake up and then find out if it really needs changing.

If you want to relieve the suffering of the planet’s people, creatures and above all of the planet itself, first wake up and find out if there truly is suffering.

Indeed, if you are concerned about what is happening apparently, outside of you, turn your attention inwards, lovingly, to the mis-seeing and false assumptions within.

The end of the addiction

What is nothing is real, solid? Including the personal self? The opportunity in world crisis is exactly the same as that offered by personal crisis. The opportunity is the dismantling of contraction and separation. The reclaiming, for no reason, of naturalness. The kind rejection of all the – ologies, magical thinking, solution orientations, – isms…and all the judgements that subtly shadow them.

I am not suggesting that the apparent pain of others should be denied or dismissed. Nor am I at all suggesting the actions for greater good shouldn’t be taken. Far from it. I am suggesting that crisis is no reason to stay in trances and be distracted from the realisation of freedom – fear of future horror or hope for future gains are both fodder for a mind whose job is to protect the status quo and prevent true transformation.

Transformation for the sake of what can be got from it is futile. The grasping can be replaced with a different motivation for that real, courageous work of waking up from conditioned, made up paradigms.

Undertake it for the sake – simply – of that silence, that stillness, which the heart can receive and a man or woman can give truly, only as a result of facing truths that can be very hard to even see, let alone face into.

The heartsong

So in our being human, limited by our mortality and vulnerability, what is the heart song worth singing?

Is it to find the perfect lover? The most loving family life? The fulfilment of career ambition?

Surely it is to wake up beyond conditioned limits and judgements, the stories supposedly being done to us, and realise the essence of life, see lovingly and clearly what is not that, and know how to wake up again, anyway.

Surely it is to find loving, authentic spiritual friendship with those who love what you love. Regenerative community.

Surely it is to grow deep roots, to plant ourselves fully in the life that arises beyond personal will, and celebrate it.

Surely it is to listen to the earth, the ecosystem, the animal kingdom, not to make ideas about them, but to learn to be with them again, naturally.

Secret Garden circles’ holding and transmission from your life guide grow your capacity to find your own resting in natural Being in your daily ordinary life.

Becoming fully human

Loss and impermanence, and renewal and resolution, are universal. Human beings must learn to accept this. It is how we grow up. We cannot have transformation without cost, and surrender to transformation is never ‘for’ the improvement of the personal, though conditions may, usually do, improve as a side effect.

The separate self fears that this means the end of all the good things it wants to get. It isn’t. it might be the end of things that aren’t deeply true and naturally right for ‘you’, though, and ‘you’ may fight that, which will hurt. Something else will grow, all by itself.

Everything you thought you were is lost in that. This is true rebirth, this is love, this is beingness.

Its price is to feel horror, fragility and pain – fully – and get underneath it. Again and again.

And not know what, if anything, will ever come from that devotion to vulnerable truth.

The ruthless killer and tender lover

Waking up is sometimes about dismantling the past, or compelling illusion, or -simply- the conditioned personality’s grip. This is because awakeness is possible only when neediness, trance, belief in feelings and thoughts, resistances and projections can be recognised, and met in loving consciousness so that they dissolve easily back to source. There is no need to quarrel with loss, change, the impermanent nature of Life.

….Live this precious, miraculous life that is with totality and passion. What is revealed is the Love that does not change, beyond ‘you’. This is the ruthless killer of illusion. The source of all healing and all ‘your’ innate gifts. This is the ‘tool’ beyond all tools, the ultimate solve-nt of any pain or perceived problem, whether of the world or a personal life. This is how all issues are dis-solved at their root. This is how miracle shifts happen. The ultimate healing of our conditioned separation and suffering.

What Is, empty fullness, beyond you, is what dissolves illusion and nourishes you.

Men and women open, close, rise, fall, follow through, forget, hurt, laugh, make choices that dull us, make choices that support the depths of nature’s miracle beingness to radiate out. Life is not for a ‘you’ that doesn’t exist. Life happens as ‘you’, as endless openness. This is being human. And it is immeasurably, magnificently free.

Join us and realise this.

These Circles will be laughter & life-filled, & take you further than you might have ever travelled in awakeness and aliveness and integrate that massive shift. A strong and mature, intentional circle has gathered and is booking fast now, and the energy is a fire in this body.

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One Comment

Amy

Dearest Joy,

This is all brilliant, I thank you so much for your tenacity in explaining it again and again and again until we ‘get it’. It took me years to understand what is meant by ‘witnessing and holding’, or ‘meeting [something] in loving consciousness’ or ’embracing a limiting belief’. As I didn’t grow up in a world of consciousness, these terms had only a dictionary meaning for me. I never heard anyone talk this way in my mainstream life; a witness was found in a courtroom, holding was physical, not psychical, and a meeting was what one did around a conference table. It did not make sense to ‘love’ or ‘welcome’ my pain–I only wanted it gone. I could pretend to love it, but how could I possibly love (ie, really really want) something painful?? These terms take on a new depth of meaning when used in consciousness, so thank you for giving examples, and for the circle being an example. You have emphasised to me how I do not need intellect in this process, but until I understood your terms I was in darkness. Now that I see your meanings it is like vision to a blind woman. Now I can more consciously try to implement their wisdom.

With much love,
Amy

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