At the Heart of Sorrow

Silent Saboteur or Sweet Surrender?

The sweetness and wonder of new love turns to drama and the debris of a break up.

A tightness and ache in your heart. Grief not only for lost love, but for how the love wasn’t enough. Grief for how you lost yourself in the trying to make love work.

Unhealed traumatic loss, even if buried deep long ago, can still limit your ability to find the level of totality and surrender that love demands every day.

Sorrow, unacknowledged or not fully met, is a silent saboteur.

You don’t surrender to a loved one outside of you, the surrender is to love itself.

If you are a man or woman who has lived some years on planet earth, then you likely have experienced great sorrow. The circumstances that seem to lead to grief, loss, hurt and heartbreak vary dramatically, as I see in my private practice – abortions, age-ing, disablement, conflicts, business betrayal, divorce, disillusionment, abuse, bereavement and many more.

You are born with natural love, joy, and the instincts to get your needs met & trust others.

What or who robbed you of hope? Sorrow, grief, loss in their pure form, stop defensiveness and isolation head – on. There is no fight left.

How to heal and the deepest invitation of sorrow

You owe it to yourself to face towards your wounding, instead of away from it. Then, hope in, or hopelessness about, the imagined future is so much less than presence, here, now.

Only you can allow nature its course towards complete healing, or block it with analysis & rationalisation, pride & refusal. Essence supports you as you heal, and with commitment, you can work so deeply that the material from not only the particular life circumstances, but also from long ago parental and cultural conditioning AND the collective material of aeons too, is dissolved.

THIS is devotion. There is no one and nothing outside of you. Not even God.

Essence; Unleash Your Joy and Freedom in Being approaches & practices lead you into profound transformation from pain into the profound gift of being. Love & natural happiness becomes tangible discovery, innate and never dependent on who or what is outside of you.

Say yes to the deepest invitation of loss and sorrow here https://secretgarden.co.uk/product/essence-online-course/

Sorrow can also arise without having any specific root cause or event. Sorrow is a sane response in some moments to the confusion and suffering of those we might know well or meet even through a newspaper article about what arises globally. What is depleting is to stay in that for longer than the moment its cause is in front of you.

I have known sorrow intimately. Intense sensitivity to life’s sadness, its poignancy – that human unconsciousness causes harm – hopelessness about the planet’s fate, even as a young child, losses, the pointlessness of living – these feelings became more acute, usually without specific material cause, as awakenings came to an end, time after time, from childhood, through teens and some of adulthood, in which there have been tragic happenings, too. Exploring life deeply and the healing work undertaken appeared to create blazing light in the body. Ultimately, the story of being Joy burned away.

Sorrow is a one of life’s strongest invitations to return to naturalness. The material is simply, innocently what it is, raw, un-met. Yet also miracle fertiliser, and rocket fuel for your natural journey of realisation.

Maybe you have a tendency to listen to your mind’s interpretation of what is happening, or has happened, in your life, because it feels too frightening to really feel it to the bottom? And yet, in the background, always, there is wholeness, that is already carrying the life you call yours. When the dream of sorrow is recognised, its cost to your beingness becomes very clear.

With Essence, you address the secondary gain you have had (such as beliefs about how you or life should be), from holding on to unconscious or barely conscious grief, and learn how to break through the trances into a natural beingness.

The gift

Free of story, sorrow can be felt to its depths. It deepens you. At the bottom is freedom, which shows you the gift of being alive without purpose or reason. Saying yes to sorrow’s true invitation grows your heart and capacity for compassion. Fully felt, learnings taken, it simply lets you go.

At the heart of sorrow there is longing, an unquenchable hunger that you may try, or have tried, to fill with experiences, food, drink, drugs, love affairs and material acquisitions. Sorrow is a call, home. The human condition of grief, dissatisfaction and depression was born of the perceived separation from your essence, your naturalness, your wholeness.

Self-love means understanding where you are in life, how you created it and refusing self-condemnation. Cultivating kindness and spaciousness for your own being. Bringing as much tenderness and presence to your meeting with you as you might to another in need of softness and comfort amidst grief and loss.

Essence; Unleash Your Joy and Freedom in Being supports and resources you fully to do this.

The apparent causes of your sorrow might well seem to have no solution. Unimaginable unpredictabilities cannot be explained. The truth can be messy. Your losses may never be something you can call pretty or purposeful. Yet they do bring gifts, often greater than can be imagined while grief is flowing. They do not have to tarnish your resources and trust. Restored to naturalness, what happened is….what happened.

Regeneration is natural. Human beingness is always a becoming. You can find freedom and ease – Download this world-class course here https://secretgarden.co.uk/product/essence-online-course/

Awake, the greatest love of ‘your’ life, is here right now. You are undefined by what has happened to you or not happened for you.

Love to you wonderfuls xxx ❤❤

Joy Hicklin-Bailey

P.S An opportunity –

What Is, empty fullness, beyond you, is what dissolves illusion and nourishes you.

Men and women open, close, rise, fall, follow through, forget, hurt, laugh, make choices that dull us, make choices that support the depths of nature’s miracle beingness to radiate out. Life is not for a ‘you’ that doesn’t exist. Life happens as ‘you’, as endless openness. This is being human. And it is immeasurably, magnificently free.

Join us in the Live Online Awakening Circles and realise this.

These Circles will be laughter & life-filled, & take you further than you might have ever travelled in awakeness and aliveness and integrate that massive shift. A strong and mature, intentional circle has gathered and is booking fast now, and the energy is a fire in this body.

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One Comment

Amy

Dearest Joy,

This is all brilliant, I thank you so much for your tenacity in explaining it again and again and again until we ‘get it’. It took me years to understand what is meant by ‘witnessing and holding’, or ‘meeting [something] in loving consciousness’ or ’embracing a limiting belief’. As I didn’t grow up in a world of consciousness, these terms had only a dictionary meaning for me. I never heard anyone talk this way in my mainstream life; a witness was found in a courtroom, holding was physical, not psychical, and a meeting was what one did around a conference table. It did not make sense to ‘love’ or ‘welcome’ my pain–I only wanted it gone. I could pretend to love it, but how could I possibly love (ie, really really want) something painful?? These terms take on a new depth of meaning when used in consciousness, so thank you for giving examples, and for the circle being an example. You have emphasised to me how I do not need intellect in this process, but until I understood your terms I was in darkness. Now that I see your meanings it is like vision to a blind woman. Now I can more consciously try to implement their wisdom.

With much love,
Amy

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