Choice; alchemical transformation or shutdown?

The video above is one glimpse of circle, a tender conversation about feeling 'stuck'. I am asked frequently verbally and via email, 'What happens in circles? The aliveness of structures, initiations and circle is impossible to convey in words. Anything can arise. Men and women may get stuck when they feel lonely, feel attracted to,…

Emergency and Emergence

In Secret Garden Essence Coaching Training, the approach is deeply sustainable for your life, because it puts your values and goals at the centre. I don't talk about my story much and if you attend Most Intimate events or the Awakening Circles you will easily come to see why that is! So..this feels very odd…

At the Heart of Sorrow

Silent Saboteur or Sweet Surrender? The sweetness and wonder of new love turns to drama and the debris of a break up. A tightness and ache in your heart. Grief not only for lost love, but for how the love wasn’t enough. Grief for how you lost yourself in the trying to make love work. Unhealed traumatic loss,…

‘You’ is Unreal

What happens when I say 'There is no such entity as You'? There is only (one-ly) Life. One appearance. 'You' are not in control. 'You' do not exist. 'You' are not necessary for the unfolding story of the life 'you' call 'yours'. Functioning happens beautifully, without a sense of self, without an 'I'. What happens…

Don’t Get Lost in Fairyland

Every day, new accounts of loss, suffering, heroism and anguish from our collective story of Covid-19, touch me so deeply. Sharings from those who are intrinsically part of my life, family, friends & clients, and also of those I hear in the limited news I digest. We are all faced with the truly inconceivable. The…

Desolation is Wonder

In this response to a woman's despair, Joy points to what is indescribable. The wonder of being. Life is a magical mystery which 'me' dulls in its futile attempts to control. This cannot be seen in the contraction of resistance to what is. Joy invites the revelation that tears (or whatever is apparently arising) aren't…

To all Women & Men Who Value Awake Intimacy, a heartfelt address

I was looking through a filing cabinet yesterday and just came across the notes for an address I gave a little while ago. This was at the beautiful wedding of a man and woman I love very much, and have the privilege of sitting in circles ongoing with. They had asked me to be their…

Sometimes the Unconscious is a Trickster

In the recent video, which prompted this written riff on it, I'm responding about a question a woman asked me as we chatted before the circle formally opened. She asked about something that she perceived had happened with her partner 'projecting onto her' and whether I felt she was 'right' to respond as she did. I…

The Glimpse – Live Like a Virgin

The video above is one glimpse of circle, a recording of a tender conversation between Joy and a man who was experiencing grief about his lack of desire and passion for his partner. The particular circumstances might resonate for you. If they don't, there is still so much in this video that is relevant to, and…

Why is it so hard for man to be The Lover? (Part 2)

Guest blog In Part 1 we looked at the challenges we as men consciously and unconsciously face in giving up control and finding the flow of giving and receiving in life – easier said than done, but well worth giving attention to. If you haven't read Part 1 yet, I suggest you go to Why is…