Those who have not undergone full transmutation through relating (to spouse, partner or life guide) harden against their own humanity and that of the other through self-protection, opinions, blame, separation, judgement & over-thinking (animus in woman/female) or intense emotional reactivity, fear of containment, fantasy and chaos of mind (anima in man/male).
The fling, or the stop-start connection is a breeze compared with facing into the pain and vulnerability that lies underneath what the mind wants to transfer to the intimate other, that is, project outward. All defences are about blaming another for pain and then finding a way not to feel. The riches of the committed exploration are of course -if both are fully engaged – potentially infinitely greater in a committed and accountable relationship. Old pain is transmuted. It is never about the other! Every encounter between man and woman can transmute any energy whatever its colour, and become simply electric aliveness.
This video begins after a woman has just verbally attacked a man with a list of his wrongdoing. Joy responds by challenging her opinionated rightness and talks about coming back from shut down and its potential rewards.
The clashes and witholdings truly begin only when the relating is truly intimate and is or has been a committed one. Only then is suffering great enough for the call to do this alchemical work and stay with it, if there is enough Love in the being.
Miracles of healing, love and transformation ….we are overjoyed to welcome so many new participants to Secret Garden. All, new or familiar with this garden, are pioneers in consciousness work, transforming their wounds in living the oceanic depths and endless receptivity of the feminine and living the risk of the clarity and boundaries of the masculine.
This inner adventure affects so many businesses, children, friendships, marriages, hospitals, practices, families many hundreds of people’s lives benefit as you pay forward the love, peace and joy you find back into your lives.
It is always stunning to see the vulnerability, courage, love and compassion that transforms pain into the gold of freedom.
The territory of the next circle, a beginning of the work beyond shadow, that of animus and anima integration, is partly an investigation of how these archetypal energies in the human being, man and woman, projects outward as mind and emotion. These energies must do this and the effects can be perplexing at least and tragic at worst. Only when the mechanism – expressed uniquely in each man and woman – is understood and received, can mind, blame and projection start to be integrated, rather than put out. Life is so much easier, clearer, richly fulfilling, then. What is – Life, the Love greater than human – is what is fallen in love with (rather, lived) and is the only, one-ly expression ever after. Peace and freedom.
It is wise (indeed, inevitable if nature is permitted its way) to come to penetrate the mysteries of being man and being woman, to come to befriend both inside and outside of us. This is the great alchemical work. Without the energetic marriage of male and female in ‘your’ being, full realisation of beingness cannot happen.
Secret Garden Circles are essentially Feminine. I say this because the energetics are so much more important than the words. The transmission dismantles defence and conditioned learning, and -if that isnt resisted – you can grow true vulnerability and authenticity. In circles, men and women can open to receive deep, deep nurturing; something not experienced since earliest childhood-and sadly for some, perhaps not even then. If there is vulnerable not knowing as you sit in circle, without self-justification and defended positions, the circle is an embrace, a cradling, given selflessly and without demands or needs, whatever the circumstances. What a world if you and everyone could experience unconditional love and support, celebration and acknowledgment of your unique beauty and humanity.
Humans learn over time to become more natural, simpler when they sit in circles. Circles, if the learnings and openings are taken on, integrated, and lived more and more, always give a sanctuary of shelter & healing. So the flower of that which has been forced into hiding or trampled into the undergrowth -the hidden, softer, irrational intelligence, vulnerability, tenderness, love can blossom.
Next event is a Joyful Loving weekend in which we explore how you can bring enough consciousness around animus and anima that projective energy is much less charged. As a result, withdrawal, mistrust and blame dissolve and relating brings trust, ease and pleasure. Only 2 places remain.